How Learning to Navigate Uncertainty Supports us In Mid-Life Transitions
Why Lofty Phrases like Reinvention and Finding Your Purpose Slow us Down
Anyone else struggling with the “Big Reinvent”?
The messages coming at us are everywhere and they are loud. Reinvention, empowerment, finding your purpose, becoming your authentic self, change!
All such big, urgent sounding words.
Some days I’m lucky enough to be standing upright after a night of hellish hot flashes, relentless insomnia, and a resounding 2 hours of sleep.
The biggest reinvention I’m thinking about tackling the next morning is putting extra concealer under my eyes.
Now listen, I’m all for reinvention and exploring new things. But I’m all against feeling pressured to pull a rabbit out of a top hat, with a magic wand, in the middle of an earthquake.
Midlife organically comes with huge changes. Most days I feel like my own personal hero just for surviving those. Let alone trying to force some giant reinvention.
So where does that leave our second act?
One of the biggest problems with the big words is they weigh us down. They make it all sound so dramatic, so bold, so … “do this right now, it’ll be fun we swear.”
But guess what ?
Big Reinvents are full of big uncertainties. And that’s okay! They’re supposed to be. This is normal. Don’t let anyone using a big word make you think otherwise.
So then how do we get started without all the drama if we are indeed looking for something new.
We learn to navigate all of the uncertainty. And this … makes all the difference.
This week’s Topic
Learning How to Navigate Uncertainty
At its core, navigating uncertainty means having the ability to remain flexible and resilient in the face of unknowns. Being able to make decisions with confidence even when the path ahead isn’t clear.
It helps us approach change with a sense of curiosity rather than fear.
Sounds good right? So how can we flex this muscle?
WHERE TO BEGIN
Normalize it
We can start by normalizing the uncertainty. There’s a learning curve here and we need to make peace with that. You are not alone, we all experience uncertainty.
Our brains are hardwired to see uncertainty as a risk or threat, it’s physiologically normal to feel stress when faced with unfamiliar situations.
Although avoiding these unpleasant feelings is a natural human tendency, it gets in the way of learning and our future growth.
So rather than avoid these feelings, we can learn to acknowledge and embrace the discomfort of not knowing, as an expected and normal part of the process.
Not knowing can be hard, but we can re-frame this thinking to … I don’t know …. yet.
Let Go of Perfectionism
Yes. Can we finally let this go ? This is a messy ride and guess what? Nobody is getting everything right and you don’t need to either. Aiming for perfection is unproductive. It’ll stop you from even starting.
To let go of perfectionism identify and acknowledge your specific core fears that are triggered — such as “I’ll fail,” “I’ll look bad,” or “I’ll make the wrong decision.” But guess what? It’s rarely the catastrophe we imagine in our minds.
Aim for progress not perfection. For example … I got out of bed today after 2 hours of sleep and I made that **** cup of coffee.
Expect mistakes and recognize that you have the ability to continually course correct as needed.
In other words, if you spill the **** coffee you can just start again and pour a new one. Ah now that’s better.
So are you ready to dive in ?
This week’s exercise
There are so many fun and beneficial tools to support us in building the muscle we need to navigate uncertainty. For this week we’ll start with one and I’ll be introducing more next week.
Cognitive Flexibility
Cognitive flexibility is the ability to adapt our thinking and behavior to new information and changing circumstances.
What cognitive flexibility helps with:
Adapting to Change: It allows us to pivot strategies and plans when conditions shift unexpectedly, reducing stress and promoting resilience.
Problem-Solving: By being open to new ideas and approaches, we can creatively find solutions to new or ambiguous problems.
Decision-Making: During uncertain situations, cognitive flexibility helps us evaluate new information and adjust decisions accordingly.
Emotional Regulation: Shifting perspectives can lead to better emotional management, reducing frustration and anxiety in unpredictable situations.
Innovation: An open mindset fosters creativity and innovation, and this is essential for finding opportunities even when circumstances are challenging.
Reduced Rigidity: Being less fixed in our thinking patterns prevents the frustration that can arise when rigid plans fall apart, promoting a more balanced and prepared mindset.
Exercise: Mind Mapping
Create a mind map to explore potential outcomes of a major decision, for example a career change or relocating to a new place.
Start with your main goal in the center
Draw branches outward. Make each branch a possible path and list the potential outcome of each one. This visual approach will help you see alternatives and be able to adapt your plans more fluidly.
Navigating uncertainty is a vital skill for us in midlife as we face so many changes. Embracing cognitive flexibility and adaptability will support us in approaching life's challenges with resilience. It helps us recognize opportunities within the ambiguity and build skills to find clarity even in the most uncertain of times.
You’ve got this!
I so deeply love the about section of your Substack, and everything you’re writing for / embodying right now. Thank you.
Marychris, I also wrote about this exact thing recently while exploring the myth of a purpose driven life. While there is nothing wrong with purpose and meaning, I agree with you that something the whole idea can drag us down more than if we simply allowed things to unfold.
Great essay, thanks.