Oh gawd, I would heart this essay 10,000 times if I could - women writing about what it feels like to live inside an ageing woman's body in a culture that sees it as a failed project that needs (expensively) fixing. This quote slayed me:
"Things don’t look the same. I’m not the same. Am I allowed to admit that?
Not everyone’s running around embracing something. We are figuring it out. Slowly. What it means for each of us. It’s personal. In the moments I do age positively it looks more like this …
I close the Instagram page. I don’t look up how old Laura Dern is after staring at her toned arms as she laughs with her best friend Reese sharing cocktails. I don’t look in the mirror and curse myself. I go kayaking instead and forget what I look like but remember who I am."
Beautiful! Good writing that connects with people is positive aging to me. But really what is up with all that aging well or aging gracefully? Every human from the moment of birth is aging but we don’t talk about things like toddlers aging well. Probably because they don’t handle aging very gracefully - so unreasonable! So all the stuff aimed at middle aged women is really about not making other people uncomfortable with our wrinkles. They remind people we’ve all got expiration dates. In closing: say yes to the kayak.
Loved this, MaryChris! Wonderful writing and so relatable. I hate that getting older is considered a crime and "anti-aging" products fly off the shelves when really, those of us that are still kicking around are the lucky ones. I know people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s who didn't make it this far. To wake up each day, make a friend laugh, kayak, and taste something delicious, well, that's absolutely beautiful in my book.
Hi Hilary! And yet all of these products targeted at us use the term “anti-aging” as THE selling point! Yes, people never get the gift of aging. Aren’t we truly the lucky ones. Thank you for your lovely comments.
Absolutely wonderful and heartening and eye opening all at once- I always felt there was something fishy going on as the vultures began to circle around us midlife women - thank you Mary Chris xx
Thank you. You should see the skin on my skinny arms when I’m horizontal! So weird and crepey! But I quite like it!! It’s intriguing. It has character. And texture. I could write about it! It’s not just smooth and tight! xx
Can we also do away with the targeting of the gallons of wine/prosecco/booze we should be drinking anyway? I like a drink sometimes but it's an annoying assumption that this stage of life is all about drinking and doing nothing. I'd rather be cultivating my crone-in-the-woods vibe in my favorite flannel while not wearing a bra because who cares and scheming plans with my friends. If there's wine, fine. If not, we know better by now that it's not the only way to have fun. (I don't even know where that rant came from, but there it is.)
This is the loveliest of compliments. It put such a warm smile on my face. I adore the supportive comments your mom leaves on your posts. My mom is the same age and also my biggest cheerleader. Have a beautiful day Kimberly.
I relate to every bit of this!! Soooo much! I'm 63 now and I've been doing me a long time. My mom set a good example. Menopause sucked, I poured with sweat at work, felt like hell and took my vitamins. Kept going. 2020 got a big hole out of my forehead, replaced with 6" of neck skin. I'm a drugstore makeup girl, walk and do life my way. The money I don't have is better spent anywhere than on a multibillion dollar industry - The more pressure the less I want of it all. All I did want at one point was for my healthcare plan to take care of my very bad bone to bone knee and I was told literally to "age gracefully into a knee replacement." I asked when that might be? around 75. Oh okay. I started cbd oil and f that. Crawling "gracefully to the grave." I think the healthcare industry is too busy making sure athletes get back in the game.
Excellent post and you deserve all the praise!! Keep kayaking!!
THIS is beautiful! Thank you, made my day. And just might stop searching for the miracle cure that will make my thinned out from chemo hair look thick. I’d rather just celebrate that I’m a strong woman who beat cancer!
Oh gawd, I would heart this essay 10,000 times if I could - women writing about what it feels like to live inside an ageing woman's body in a culture that sees it as a failed project that needs (expensively) fixing. This quote slayed me:
"Things don’t look the same. I’m not the same. Am I allowed to admit that?
Not everyone’s running around embracing something. We are figuring it out. Slowly. What it means for each of us. It’s personal. In the moments I do age positively it looks more like this …
I close the Instagram page. I don’t look up how old Laura Dern is after staring at her toned arms as she laughs with her best friend Reese sharing cocktails. I don’t look in the mirror and curse myself. I go kayaking instead and forget what I look like but remember who I am."
Thank you MaryChris x
Thank you Jody! You captured it well … “ a failed project that needs fixing… “. Gosh this struck me.
Beautiful! Good writing that connects with people is positive aging to me. But really what is up with all that aging well or aging gracefully? Every human from the moment of birth is aging but we don’t talk about things like toddlers aging well. Probably because they don’t handle aging very gracefully - so unreasonable! So all the stuff aimed at middle aged women is really about not making other people uncomfortable with our wrinkles. They remind people we’ve all got expiration dates. In closing: say yes to the kayak.
Amazing Sara … this made me chuckle ! Wonderful perspective.
Good point Sara 👏👏
Loved this, MaryChris! Wonderful writing and so relatable. I hate that getting older is considered a crime and "anti-aging" products fly off the shelves when really, those of us that are still kicking around are the lucky ones. I know people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s who didn't make it this far. To wake up each day, make a friend laugh, kayak, and taste something delicious, well, that's absolutely beautiful in my book.
Hi Hilary! And yet all of these products targeted at us use the term “anti-aging” as THE selling point! Yes, people never get the gift of aging. Aren’t we truly the lucky ones. Thank you for your lovely comments.
Absolutely wonderful and heartening and eye opening all at once- I always felt there was something fishy going on as the vultures began to circle around us midlife women - thank you Mary Chris xx
Thank you Elizabeth!
Thank you. You should see the skin on my skinny arms when I’m horizontal! So weird and crepey! But I quite like it!! It’s intriguing. It has character. And texture. I could write about it! It’s not just smooth and tight! xx
Francesca - I adore your take on this! … it’s intriguing … it has character
Yes! When I catch sight of my crepey skin, I’m shocked and a bit “I like it” too- I wonder about it and can’t be bothered to condemn it xx
Can we also do away with the targeting of the gallons of wine/prosecco/booze we should be drinking anyway? I like a drink sometimes but it's an annoying assumption that this stage of life is all about drinking and doing nothing. I'd rather be cultivating my crone-in-the-woods vibe in my favorite flannel while not wearing a bra because who cares and scheming plans with my friends. If there's wine, fine. If not, we know better by now that it's not the only way to have fun. (I don't even know where that rant came from, but there it is.)
Scheming plans with my friends … ohhh yes! Some of my best points come from rants and some of my finest humor:)
Such a true and real post ! I'm nearly 58 and Phew! I try not to look at whats happening out there...You put it all so perfectly. Thank you
Thank you Rachel. I’m so grateful this resonated with you!
Huzzah! From both my peri-menopause self and my mom, who turns 80 this year. She texted me with your essay and wrote:
“I’m relaxing more into this letting go process of aging after reading her article… Ahhh. Highly recommend reading it.🥰”
🙏
This is the loveliest of compliments. It put such a warm smile on my face. I adore the supportive comments your mom leaves on your posts. My mom is the same age and also my biggest cheerleader. Have a beautiful day Kimberly.
I relate to every bit of this!! Soooo much! I'm 63 now and I've been doing me a long time. My mom set a good example. Menopause sucked, I poured with sweat at work, felt like hell and took my vitamins. Kept going. 2020 got a big hole out of my forehead, replaced with 6" of neck skin. I'm a drugstore makeup girl, walk and do life my way. The money I don't have is better spent anywhere than on a multibillion dollar industry - The more pressure the less I want of it all. All I did want at one point was for my healthcare plan to take care of my very bad bone to bone knee and I was told literally to "age gracefully into a knee replacement." I asked when that might be? around 75. Oh okay. I started cbd oil and f that. Crawling "gracefully to the grave." I think the healthcare industry is too busy making sure athletes get back in the game.
Excellent post and you deserve all the praise!! Keep kayaking!!
THIS is beautiful! Thank you, made my day. And just might stop searching for the miracle cure that will make my thinned out from chemo hair look thick. I’d rather just celebrate that I’m a strong woman who beat cancer!
Oh KM - thank you. Now you've made my day! I'm so humbled and grateful this essay impacted your day in a positive way.
I have spent my entire life “getting read”. Damn. I’m tired. Love this essay. OMG can we go for coffee and chat?!
Amen sister.
"I forget what I look like and remember who I am."
Brava!
Holy shit yes!👍
Beautiful essay. Thank you for writing this.
Yaaaaaasss! 👏